If coaching is not my self-improvement program, then what is it you might ask?
At Trilogy Effect, we believe you are whole and complete already. A skilled coach is in service of bringing out the best of who you are; expanding how you see yourself and what you’re capable of.
This is about growth.
Most of us don’t see ourselves clearly. When we look into the pond, our reflection is often muddied and stirred up by people and situations that trigger reactions in us.
From time to time, the surface of the pond is still and transparent; we get small glimpses into who’s really inside.
However, most of the time we react and respond habitually to situations. A lot of how we react and respond has to do with our early development—successful and unsuccessful behaviors that were either rewarded and reinforced or discouraged.
Reward doesn’t necessarily mean someone gives us a pat on the head. A reward can also mean that we got the desired effect. For instance, if we hold a belief that people will hurt us if they can, then we might adopt a protective stance in life--puff our chest out to make ourselves seem big and powerful, act loud, overly confident even arrogant so that we keep people at a distance.
“Wow, that worked! No one takes me on or challenges me, and if they do I’ll just get angry, loud, bellicose.” Unfortunately, that early belief rarely gets re-examined and it continues to shape our behavior. As we get older this strategy can get so overused that what was once a strength, starts to become a liability.
Most of the time, we can’t see it. We’ve lost track of who we are because we’ve conflated these early coping strategies with who’s really inside of us and what we’re capable of. We’re so busy playing a role that we don’t see we’ve confused the role with our true nature.
A gifted coach will work with you to surface and reexamine the beliefs you hold, and your associated reactive and habitual patterned responses.
Together, you’ll explore other approaches that are more aligned with your true nature and at the same time, get you the desired effect.
You have far more available to you than just your conditioned responses.
You don’t need to be fixed. You just need to remember who you are.